mall punk
09.24.03 @ 8:59 p.m.
Just now I almost went insane trying to find goddamn NBC on my new TV. And our reception is still shit. Dad and I went to the trouble of buying a UHF loop for the TV and... uh, there's only on RF knob thingy on the back, like all cable-ready TVs. West Wing is premiering right now and I don't give a shit. For some reason I thought Law and Order would be premiering now, which is stupid, but I hoped. Trying to watch Conan on this thing will certainly suck. It's not the TV, though. It's where we live.
Mmm, I have a Cinnabon waiting for me. I went to the mall today in an attempt to buy jeans, but nothing took my fancy. What I did buy was a nice pair of brown pants on sale at JC Penny. Like in the godawful BigLots (I wish it was still Pick 'n' Save, if it was I'd totally shop there) commercial, I seem to lack the shopping gene. (How horribly cliche and sexist is that? I mean, really. It's like those horrible JC Penny 'One Day Only' sale ads where all the fathers are blitheringly incompetant when faced with the prospect of caring for their own child for one day. not even that much.) Digressions aside, I'm a horrible shopper. I hate it. I'm impatient and uncertain and can never find what I want. Someday, someone needs to take me in hand and give me some style apart from the halfassed hipster-band-t-shirt-and-jeans thing I do now. And I'm inept when it comes to makeup, because my mom is ever the hippie and never wears any. And my sister... was never around and now is in Chicago, so I never had that kind of guidance or instruction.
But no pity. Because, though I lazed about and took my sweet time, I had, ah, a little fun today. Had to wait 45 minutes for the bus from the University back to my house. At some point I need to learn the more efficient routes to the big station four or five blocks down. Also, I bought some killer brown pants. And a Cinnabon and some snacky things from other food court stores. I contemplated buying a cheap journal at Walden Books to start my lyrics lists, but now I'm thinking of going to Target tomorrow and buying a new composition book and look at clothes there and at the few decent stores at Gateway. I'm hoping that they still have Todd Oldham comp books there, because I rather fancy the one I saw once that had little stripes with safety pins printed up and down the front.
Because I'm so punk rock, you know. (Ah, why do I put inside jokes when the people who'd find it funny don't read this? The irony is that I am not visibly punk, and yet I know Avril-wannabes who don't have the same love of the Sex Pistols and the Clash that I do. (I'm also fond of the Ramones, but I only have two Ramones songs right now.))
Despite the fact that I've never watched a full episode of West Wing, I'm watching now and am rather lost. Just as well. Of course the one channel that comes in crystal clear is the one full of trash syndicate. Like right now? Jerry Springer. Grr.
I wrote this yesterday, and after it I'll post one of the pictures of my hair at the end:
About two hours of my day was spent watching said dinosaur videos with little 8 year old Daniel, who really is quite cute. I'm trying not to sound condescending, you know the way people do when they talk to kids. I actually quite enjoyed learning about "Big Al" the Allosaurus and his multiple injuries plus dinos of 'sea and sky.' He's such a darling little boy. [insert curse against bastard friends who can't fathom me wanting to have kids] [not that they don't, they just can't picture me wanting them] [bastards] Cindy, Daniel's mom, made pasta and salad for dinner, which was also quite nice, and then I went on a walk to Amazon Park with Daniel, his mom and dad, E*, and a Taiwanese woman named Ming Chi who looks about 20 years old but is in fact in her forties and, well, I'll explain later. Also dog Jason (which is completely not a dog name to me). The outing was mostly so Jason would get a chance to stretch his legs and poo. There's a dog park in Amazon that they let the dog loose in, but he bit a little dog once so they make him wear a muzzle. This, I am sure, made the other dog owners nervous. A dog wears a muzzle for a reason, the average person would think, so this dog must require caution. E* thought I should tell Brian that. I think it's bloody obvious, though they seem to think I'm more of an authority on dogs than perhaps I am.
E*, Cindy, Ming Chi, David and I went over to the tiny, wussy skate park next to the dog park so David could watch the skateboarders and E* and I went aside to chat. Apparently, Ming Chi claims to be a bit psychic or clairvoyant. Last night she told E* that she was the sadest person she ever met and she hides it deep, deep down. She also said that I was more open than E* and... something else I don't remember about how we're either really similar or really different. I think it was that we're really similar. Also that E*'s interest in philosophy stems from unresolved issues with her family and I don't think I inquired about the stuff regarding her future. This all thrills me, in that I'm interested but kind of frightened by it. I'm inclined to agree with a lot of what E* repeated to me. I can easily see her as being deeply sad about something, intrinsically dissatisfied with her life. The open thing made sense too, because E* was all miffed because she thinks that people who claim to be clairvoyant know who is and isn't a believer and she isn't, so why was Ming Chi telling her all this stuff, especially when she didn't ask, and I'm... just open. I don't actively believe in that sort of thing but I find it fascinating and interesting to read about, and while I don't believe per se, I'm not going to go fucking around with it. Just in case.
We also played on the swings and stuff. I'm such a little kid. I still collect toys and happily frolick on playground equipment. Perhaps it was because it was after dark, though, and there weren't a lot of kids around. I'm not going to elbow some kid out of the way to sit on a swing or anything.
Edit: that shirt makes me look fat... my chest sticks out and the front of my shirt looks baggy. Ugh.
Previously
fuck it @ 08.01.05
fanciful imaginary sea voyages to come @ 07.20.05
*dies* @ 07.19.05
more ootp @ 07.17.05
harry potter: driving our children into devil worship @ 07.17.05
