the hardest button to button
06.05.03 @ 8:24 p.m.
I am not a 'participater'. I don't like group activities, getting to know you activities... the thing is, when you don't socialize with people, you have no particular desire to have them force empty compliments in a stupid group exercise. The idea was to get us to shut up during the meeting by making us decorate paper bags, which would then be clipped up so people could write compliments. How destroying to your self confidence would it be to get nothing? None of them know me, I have no real wish to hear senseless, baseless, empty compliments. And so, having enjoyed the chance to draw mindlessly for a while (though I would have preferred to have just messed about in my sketchbook), when the time came to adjourn for ice cream (eugh, I just ate a Milky Way Midnight, I don't need sugar) and such, I just hurried over to the check-out time sign ups and scurried out with my paper bag shoved in my pocket. And now I'm here.
But oh! What luck I had before I left for the meeting. I was bored and channel surfing, and idly stopped on VH1's 100 Most Shocking Moments of Rock and Roll. Guess what number 81 was? Keith topping up the flash powder in his bass drum on the Smothers Brothers. Pete, still lookin' pretty good, is interviewed, and they show Roger start singing My Generation. Hee hee. Roger looking cute and grinning during the intro, Pete stabbing his guitar into the amp.... then after the explosion, patting down his hair to make sure it wasn't on fire. And taking the guitar from, ah, Tommy Smothers, I think, and smashing THAT one, and stomping on it... oh. It's too good, too cool. Whophiles should realize that I have yet to see The Kids Are Alright, so all Who footage is a blissful experience. I haven't seen any performances except from Amazing Journey (that Tommy special) and the "Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere" footage from drummerworld.com (found here).
Now I've GOT to write out my parts to the Italian assignment. I'm very bad for having waited so long. I want to blame the stupid meeting, but I can't. Fucking meeting! I hate the people in my hall, with the exception of Danae. I started out disliking her, true, but she's cool enough. But really, I just don't care. If I don't expect empty compliments, I don't need to provide them, do I? So I'll hole up here and listen to the White Stripes in peace.
Ugh! Why must it be so hot? My laptop keeps getting hot fast, too, and my hands sweat from touching it. I've got a fan, but it doesn't help much. Of course, things would be easier if I allowed myself to wear anything but dark jeans and t-shirts. I'm wearing a black shirt now, my Monkeemania shirt. I sweat too much in the summer to wear anything but black and white, really. I'm going to see a doctor about that--I think it's partly social anxiety related, because it's not a problem when I don't have to deal with people. Gross, no?
I won't be out of here soon enough. Just a week left, a week and a day. Friday morning I'll be off to Portland, where Martha will pick me up and I'll have the house to myself for five days or so. Of course, I'll have to help Grandma with the dogs and being a non driver I'll be essentially stranded, but hey. I have friends. And my house is at an acceptably clean level, so I could ask Martha and Amy to do something. Or just Martha. *shrug*
Anyway. Homework now.
Previously
fuck it @ 08.01.05
fanciful imaginary sea voyages to come @ 07.20.05
*dies* @ 07.19.05
more ootp @ 07.17.05
harry potter: driving our children into devil worship @ 07.17.05
