procrastination is a slow death
05.01.02 @ 10:58 a.m.
I've got a presentation to do today, I'm not finished reading the material I have to present on, I have videos due back this afternoon, and what am I doing? I'm writing in Diaryland, I checked out Adam Felber's Fanatical Apathy blog and dinked around on FA's message board. I also had a doughnut and some orange juice. All this was facilitated by my skipping Linguistics today. I hope that doesn't come back to haunt me. I'm also very very tempted to go back and read some more of quoted.diaryland.com. EEEEEEVIL. Everything is a distraction. I guess that says something about how eager I am to get my work done.
If you haven't known me for the last, oh, 5 years or more, you have no idea how much I've changed. I still have to fight all the urges to procrastinate, and sometimes I'm not very good at it, but I've improved so much. Fuck, I nearly failed several classes in junior high and the first couple of years of high school, just by dint of never doing any homework. It was so boring that I just blew it off. I try not to do that so much any more, but it's hard. In elementary school, I had to stay inside at recess in fourth grade to work on homework and in sixth grade I had to sit in front of the teacher's desk. Not that I really cared. It didn't bother me. It does now, a little. Well, I guess I need to explain that better. At the end of last year, the day of graduation rehersal, many of my fellow West Union alumni went back to the playground to take a picture in our caps and gowns. It was really fun and I saw my fourth grade teacher for the first time in about 8 years, because he stopped teaching for a while after I had him, or he was at a different school or something. The first thing he asked me? "Are you doing your homework now?" It was a blow to my self esteem. I was a little stunned. I think he meant it as a joke, to tease me a little, but I'm so proud of how much I've managed to gather some responsibility around me that it just shocked me. It's so much harder now to get myself together because I've been so used to basically doing whatever I want and getting away with it. I've always been smart enough to even out all my slacking with excellent test scores. I don't study-I don't think I even know how to study-because I retain things pretty well the first time through.
And now I feel like I'm bragging. I'm sorry if I sound that way. I'm not trying to. I'm just trying to explain why it's so hard to break my slacker habits. Ah, fuck it. I need to go do other things.
Previously
fuck it @ 08.01.05
fanciful imaginary sea voyages to come @ 07.20.05
*dies* @ 07.19.05
more ootp @ 07.17.05
harry potter: driving our children into devil worship @ 07.17.05
