no one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned
02.22.05 @ 5:33 p.m.
I am basically heartbroken today because I did not get into Professor S's class next term. I am not, however, above begging to get in. As such, I'm going to go to his office hours tomorrow after discussion section for Intro - not just to insinuate my way into that class (or at least to the top of the list of people who want to get in) but also because I have some genuine advising questions to ask. If I cannot work out the time conflict between Lit Theory and Intro, I have to take another term before I can graduate. So basically, I am a colossal fool for dropping Literacy, but god I hated it. I think I'd rather stay longer.
But you cannot turn back time. Here is hoping I will be courageous enough to chit chat about the Who and ask, as I've been longing to, if he's listening to Moonie's solo album.
Gods help me, I joined Myspace. The things I do because I deeply love my friends. This is all for Jessica and Rachel! And their mysterious "Watermelon war" which Jessica assures me is much like the old Breadstick wars of SYMK. I miss that kind of affectionate community of women. Ah, it does me no good to be always pining after the glory days of SYMK. I suppose I am happy enough being part of a community that demands more complexity in its interactions than Star Destroyers dropping cakes on people, smugglers and rebels versus Imperials. (This is the days of the SF/F eXite message boards I am nostalginating over now - where I was Mirax Terrik, the closest SW equivalent to the kind of heroines I write now, including Elizabeth Parkrose.)
Tonight I have to write a two page paper on Paradise Lost for Intro, about Satan's rhetoric when tempting Eve, and luck of luck, that is exactly what we talked about in Milton today. Then I present that in discussion tomorrow. I'm pretty happy with it right now, though, because I get to talk about Aeropagitica which we did not read in Intro and be Queen Snob of Literary Pretensetown... well, I just love Milton. Love him. Anyway, the arguments also put a lot of things into question, like God's intentions and Satan ultimately convinces Eve that eating the apple is the right thing to do and that God will really be proud of her for thinking for herself. (The argument of Aeropagitica, a treatise on publishing and censorship, is that we must be exposed to evil and bad arguments to be able to recognize the good when we see it and become discriminating readers - Satan argues to Eve that she would please God and Adam, and she is better prepared to do that if she can recognize evil when she sees it and thus avoid it.) I spoke up in class today to mention that Satan insinuates that it's actually a test and that God wants them to eat the apple; luckily for Satan, this is not without precident, because only a book before God let Adam name the beasts and birds and Adam had to argue eloquently for a mate of his own, as beasts were not fit companions. At the end of their little debate, God basically says "Ha ha, don't worry Adam, I knew all along that you needed a mate and (something closer to) an intellectual equal. That was a test! You passed! Here is your pretty new wife." It's certainly not outside the realm of possibility that God would set up more tests. He's a strange one, God, but then, Milton is pretty crazy in his ideas.
This is why I love him. Crazy and narcissistic. There's even a long passage in Book VIII where Raphael advises Adam to have more self esteem so that Eve would acknowledge him her superior. Also that he should not get so caught up in sex and Eve's beauty, since it's just a pretty outside with inferior stuff lurking within. Poor Eve. She has it really rough. She idolizes Adam and wishes she could be better for him, more of an equal, and all she hears is how she's pretty but not smart, and smart is infinitely better. (I wonder how many theologians got pissed off by Milton writing that angels have sex... or Adam and Eve always dashing off to their bower.
And there I have written out the arguments of my paper, which I probably will not write for another couple of hours, so I might as well go upstairs, watch the news and play the Sims while I mull it over. I've really got to get around to reading Dialogue Concerning Heresies, too, now that I've realized that it's not so difficult as it looks.
Hey kids! You, too, can be an English Major! Look at all the fun things I get to read!
It is an olde sayd saw / that one busynes begettyth and bryngeth forth a nother. Whiche prouerbe as it happeth I fynde very trewe by my selfe/ whiche haue bene fayne by occasyon / fyrst of one busynes / after to take the second / and vpon the second / now to take the thyrde. For where as a ryght worshypfull frende of myne sent ones vnto me a secrete sure frende of his / with certayne credence to be declared vnto me / towchynge many suche maters / as beynge in dede very certayne and owt of doute / be nethelesse of late by lewde people put in questyon / the specyaltees wherof do so ferforth in the fyrst chapyter of this boke appere / yt we shall here nede no rehersall therof: I thought it fyrst Inough to tell the messenger my mynde by mouth / accomptynge that after our communycacyon ended / I shoulde neuer nede ferther busynes therein.
How nice of our professor not to bother telling us that these
mean "that" and "the" respectively, or at least I think they do since I had to figure it out on my own, damnit. And they crop up constantly.
Lessons over. TV time.
Previously
fuck it @ 08.01.05
fanciful imaginary sea voyages to come @ 07.20.05
*dies* @ 07.19.05
more ootp @ 07.17.05
harry potter: driving our children into devil worship @ 07.17.05
