weekend update
07.12.04 @ 10:10 p.m.
Apologies for the excessive detail, but I've said it before and I'll say it again: This is a diary and I like to remember everything that happened. I probably ought to keep a paper journal for all this, but I like typing better.
Notes from the beach (written on a piece of notebook paper nicked from Martha just after Slavik and Amy left last night):
FRIDAY:
After work, Andrew, Martha, and Ryan (Andrew's boyfriend) came by to pick me up. My dad chatted with Andrew whilst stroking our cat, Pandora, like a supervillain. We went to Alice's for a burger that I didn't enjoy that much and I did not get a quarter share of it, as Ryan and Andrew are piggy boys who eat and eat and eat. R & A were talking much too loud and swearing far too much for a little backroads country restaurant full of the locals and their families. I was told by M & A that I'm not just the quieter one, the one that doesn't jump into the conversation IMMEDIATELY, but I also occasionally halt everything by saying "Waitwaitwaitwaitwait...." and stop the chaos. I have no memory of ever doing this. I don't know what that makes me. Bringer of order to the chaos? Submissive member of the pack? Someone who likes to occasionally focus everyone on herself? Don't know. I kicked some serious ass at Pictionary and This Vs. That with Andrew and Martha as my respective partners. Martha tells me she heard my breathing change when I fell asleep. (Moocher that I am, I usually snag the top bunk in the second bedroom; the bottom bunk is Martha's, as it's her house.)
SATURDAY:
I showered in freezing water and wondered if there was some trick to using the shower that I was not remembering. We went out to the beach at Happy Camp and built a truly magnificent sand castle. I don't imagine I'll see the pictures, since I didn't see the pictures of the D-Day reenactment until long afterwards. And only because Ryan recognized me from the pictures. It was shaped like a star and had a neat spiral ramp in the middle that I built. There were two boys up the beach who were more attractive before they had taken their shirts off and revealed the beginnings of beer guts. The one with dark hair drove us insane because his pants were sagging badly, which would have not been so maddening if his belt weren't making his butt bulge out above his waistband. "Agghghg, pull up your pants!" we would whisper to one another. I can't remember all the things we said. Many funny things. We did the campfire that night, though I thought it would have been better to wait for Amy and Slavik. Turned out not to matter, since they both left before dark last night.
Ryan makes us all act bitchier, and I find that extremely unpleasant. I still don't like him. He's okay, it's not that I can't stand being around him, I just wouldn't exert myself at all to be in his presence. I'd maybe even avoid it. Martha and I started to pick at each other a bit, and that was very bad. By the time the weekend was over, I was feeling kind of insecure. I love Andrew and Martha, but I was still extra happy to see Amy and Slavik to spend time with someone else (a pair of someones I genuinely like who were not infected by the Ryan bitchiness disease). Of course, I was thrilled to see them anyway. It's a lot like the time I went bowling with Martha, Andrew, and an ex of Andrew's who had "gone straight." I don't remember his name. The Ex and Martha played pool against Andrew and me, and they got so competitive that I just didn't want to be there anymore. I felt a lot less confident (and I am one riddled with shyness anyway) and a lot more insecure. There should be a massive lesson in here about how I treat people or the occasional flashes of contempt or anger I feel for others.
The thing is, I like Martha a lot, but I don't feel like she's the kind of person I can confide sincere feelings in. I make boy-related confessions to Amy and Andrew, never Martha. Not the real ones, anyway. Jokey, imaginary celebrity husbands, yeah. The actual angst I was feeling about the Who Boy, I talked to Amy, Ena, and Jodi about that. I wouldn't be surprised if others feel the same way about me as I feel about her. Naturally, this is all foremost in my thoughts because I'm keeping some feelings to myself. There may be a private entry later, just for the sake of getting things straight in my own head.
SUNDAY:
I did not really need to go to the motherfucking beach again. I felt awful for not wanting to participate in such outdoorsy activities when everyone else did, but I kept it to myself. We waited until Amy came and kept wondering if Slavik would call us. We went to Oceanside, but there was no parking. Instead we went to the Octopus Tree at Cape Meares, which was boring, but if they had wanted to go down one of the trails, Amy would have stayed with me up in the parking lot. She was the one who said she would stay behind, and I said I would stay, too, if they planned on hiking around. (I feel like a giant of a girl with Amy; she's 5' and I'm not quite 5'5" and I'm not exactly skinny.) We went to the beach at Cape Meares and started an overambitious sandcastle. I hardly participated because I didn't want to get all dirty and sandy again. And I was just sandcastled out. It wasn't long before Amy and I took off up the beach for a walk. We didn't tell Martha, because she seemed at least a little interested in the sandcastle, but she ran up and joined us. We walked a long way.
Slavik displayed excellent timing by showing up mere minutes after we got back to the house. He did not have to pull a Seth and Jon and sit outside the beach house for hours. We all hung out whilst dinner was prepared, though most of us helped out in one way or another (I microwaved a can of refried beans). Slavik was invited to eat too, but he said no. At first. Then he buckled under the peer pressure.
[Here I felt compelled to interject with two reasons why I dislike Ryan (actually, what I wrote is "two things I fuckin' hate about Ryan"): 1) Excessive use of "That's HOT" to indicate that something is neat/cool/awesome. With too much emotion/emphasis. This is probably because I think of 'hot' meaning 'sexy' and I start wondering what the fuck he means. 2)For a gay man, he is unnaturally obsessed with women's breasts. I'm going to add two more right now because I just thought of them. 3) He's always ragging on people's appearances, especially when it comes to weight AND WHO THE FUCK IS HE TO TALK? 4) He referred to almost every woman he saw (in life or on TV) as "that bitch."]
Ryan and Andrew retired for, uh, I'm guessing a nap after dinner and the rest of us played This Vs. That. (S&M vs. A&E, which struck me as funny when I looked at the initials.) We won. Memorable moments include Martha trying to get Slavik to guess "Not Andrew" under the category "Things that are straight" and Amy saying "Mechanical Cock and Bull" in mild confusion when I was trying to get her to guess Slavik's inexplicable "Mechanical Penis Bull" for "Things found at a rodeo." (If you have never played this game, you really should. But I think you can only purchase it at Starbucks. It's like Pyramid--It's AWESOME.) Ryan woke up, and joined us as we all went for a walk. We played Crack the Case, which is like a weird 20-Questions/solve a murder thing. Martha and I started snarking at each other a little. I got clumsy and knocked a bunch of stuff off this ridiculously crowded ledge between the living room and kitchen. And almost kicked over Martha's drink. I made a joke about being drunk. Slavik and Amy left, with us implying that they were running off together and Slavik offering Amy a ride, telling her "there's an free seat... in my lap." Hilarious.
I was sunburned and itchy and not very happy just after they left. Not upset, but not feeling social anymore. It wasn't very long before I went to bed with my book.
I had a dental appointment today, where they told me "If everyone had teeth like yours, we'd go out of business." Yay me. My dentist looks like he walked off the set of Anchorman. He has the seventies hair across his forehead and a mustache. And he still looks pretty young, despite having been my mom's dentist since the late seventies. OMG, robot dentist.
Went driving. Drove down Highway 26 to North Plains and then back along Phillips and other back roads where I haven't been since I left junior high. I had a lot of friends who lived way back there.
Ice cream and Dumbrella catch up now.
Previously
fuck it @ 08.01.05
fanciful imaginary sea voyages to come @ 07.20.05
*dies* @ 07.19.05
more ootp @ 07.17.05
harry potter: driving our children into devil worship @ 07.17.05
