saint of me
04.30.04 @ 10:32 a.m.
I'm overwhelmed by my conviction that I am a complete and utter doofus.
This was brought quite firmly to my attention yesterday when I participated in a Psych experiment that made me watch myself on video having a chat with a total stranger. That was awful. Partly because I got to watch my tendency to not look at people when I speak to them. I dunno, it just makes me uncomfortable. I don't like looking people in the eye, which makes me look dishonest, but I find something unsettling about it. It's all stupid, but it makes me look like I don't like people or I'm not interested in what they say when that isn't true.
Also, I was making a valiant effort not to be shy and quiet and was therefore kind of loud. Not like yelling loud, but I was sitting there thinking that I was using a louder voice than I would expect. It's my classroom voice, I guess, what I use when I answer a question or comment on some thing or another.
Conversely, I caught myself looking at Hot Indie Boy in my Chauceer class this morning several times, which also made me feel rather stupid. He's actually a little emo-looking, but I like to ignore that. Oh, I don't know. I'm just feeling self-consciously geeky of late and nothing says "fun" like berating yourself endlessly, right? Right?
Eh. Forget it.
Wednesday in Folklore included a pretty awesome if horribly snide video on UFOs and UFO religions. These fascinate me and the last couple of days have included idly looking up the websites of the Unarians and the Chen Tao. Mostly, I want to know what happened to the Unarians and how Uriel reacted when 33 gold and bejeweled space ships failed to land and provide undeniable proof of their existance, which is what she predicted would happen in 2001. What I wouldn't give to see more of their little propaganda videos! We watched part of one that was included in the documentary and it was really funny. Which is not nice to say, but it was produced in the very early 1990s and is comical in it's cheesy production values. Sophisticated for the time, but funny now. Ruth Norman herself ("Uriel") is pretty funny, driving around in an expensive car that has flying saucers airbrushed all over it and a big metal UFO on the roof and wearing elaborate, sparkly robes. Well, funny isn't the nicest thing to say, but still. These people fascinate me and kind of scare me at the same time. Mostly ideas like how early UFO visitors were benevolent but now they're somewhat malicious.
I'm sure that reflects on society somehow.
The last, random things I want to say:
-I bought a Hendrix shirt at Hot Topic on Wednesday when I went to buy bleach for my hair. Also a Get Fuzzy book.
-I have rediscovered that I love the songs "Out of Control", "Saint of Me", and "Too Tight" from the Rolling Stones' Bridges to Babylon album.
Previously
fuck it @ 08.01.05
fanciful imaginary sea voyages to come @ 07.20.05
*dies* @ 07.19.05
more ootp @ 07.17.05
harry potter: driving our children into devil worship @ 07.17.05
