melon gets bitchy.
10.27.02 @ 6:58 p.m.
Gaah, my back hurts. Probably from sitting on the floor almost all day long. Haha, I'm going to be fucked over for Journalism just like I was for History--I haven't studied yet. I read Othello a bunch today and did a lot of things I really should not have done, like lingered at message boards all day long and outlined the early action for my Wrimo novel. I'm so bad about homework. Damn, I'm not going to do well this October, trying to write and do homework if I can't even do homework now. AAAAGH! I hate myself, I hate myself. I *know* I need to go get some food, but I'm not hungry. I'm never hungry anymore. Nothing sounds appetizing. Damn dorm food. I'm picky, yeah, but... oof. I'm picky 'cause it's all CRAP, that's why!
I'm ranting because I'm frustrated. Did I mention that I hate myself today?
I'm a loser and I don't talk to anybody except people online. I don't come out of my little hole, namely this room.
Well, not so bad--I went to see Igby Goes Down with people yesterday, but I left right after and headed back to the dorms when they went off to shop. I did not want to shop as I am POOR.
I'm also maybe going to see Amy and Andrew on Sunday. I only want to see Amy and Andrew. I do NOT want to go to Moni's fucking cosplay party. It's quite likely that I'll leave before it starts or shortly after. I need to plan further with Double A, which is what Amy and Andrew would be called if they were rappers. They don't want to go to the damn party either, but they live in the house where it's being held. I pity them--they weren't consulted about the whole party thing. I think the sooner Paige moves out, the better for them all. She does not sound like the easiest person to live with, especially two people like Amy and Andrew.
And that Paige would have the gall to write a loosely (and I mean VERY loosely) veiled suggestion that Amy give up her unrequited love(/lust?) for Andrew and "get laid" which... ugh! Easier fucking said than done! I suppose that I have more sympathy for one than the other, and maybe that's because I heard it all through Amy. But still. I know I can be a bitch myself, but that's just fucking wrong when you know your friends are reading something. I bitch and moan here, but I keep this from them. I love them all, but sometimes I get angry and I know that things can be said in the heat of the moment... I'm being as much a hypocrite as Amy accused Paige of being when she said "Let's keep the lines of communication open." I suppose Paige has her right to her catharisis. I know I'm glad I have mine here, but... oh, I don't know anymore what I think. I don't want my friends to read this. I admitted to having it to E* but I very politely asked her to not look for it. I hope she respects that. I don't want my friends to read this. I'm not likely to apologize for anything I write here and I don't want to be in the position of offending, so I choose not to tell my friends it exists.
Brrr, it's cold and I should go see if there's any decent food tonight. (Unlikely!)
Geesh, I'm in a bad mood. I need to study a bit and do my Italian homework and maybe I can get all that out of the way and I can allow a little bit of rec time at the end. (Of course, I should have started earlier so I'd have more time for recreation and relaxation.)
Oh, and on a happy note, a few of the girls at Monkeeland have adopted my mom's nickname for me, Melon. I like it.
Previously
fuck it @ 08.01.05
fanciful imaginary sea voyages to come @ 07.20.05
*dies* @ 07.19.05
more ootp @ 07.17.05
harry potter: driving our children into devil worship @ 07.17.05
