more wedding misgivings
06.01.02 @ 1:22 a.m.
For some time now, this mole on my temple has been getting kinda bigger (but in an I'm an annoying wart way, not an I'm going to kill you by eating your face way) and I was on the verge of freaking out when I just noticed something odd about it in the mirror just now. Someway, somehow, an unusual pimple had joined forces with the wart/mole to make one big round scary thing. It was a whole odd experience, and really isn't worth recounting, especially since it's so damn gross.
My actual point in writing was to say another thing about my brother's marriage, which supposedly took place this (this still being Friday, as far as I'm concerned) morning. I haven't heard from my dad yet. Anyway, one of the reasons I'm bother is that as my new sister-in-law, Julia will be included in all the gatherings and such. And so she's been since Thanksgiving or so. At least the ones Dorian bothers to go to. I'm not ready for her to be 'family' yet. I am not a hug person except with my mother. I am supremely uncomfortable hugging non-family. Even Jodi, the queen of hugs, does not hug me. I tend to radiate 'do not touch' vibes, I think, though that doesn't stop thick people like Matt Rogers from trying to hug me on Grad Night. Dude, I don't know you that well, we're not friends, we're barely aquaintances. Anyway, my point is that I don't think I should be expected to hug Julia. I barely hug Joanne most of the time and we're supposed to be sisters. I say 'supposed to be' because we're not close at all, at least that's what I think. I feel like I barely know my sister, and though it sounds completely cold of me, in all honesty I do not want to be expected to do anything special if she develops Huntington's Disease. And as I age, signs point to her maybe developing it. This scares the crap out of me. That's why she was put up for adoption, I think, because her mom developed this disease and went insane. It's scary and I don't want to deal with it. Anyway. Long story short, I hope to whatever diety might be listening that a) my sister does not get sick and b) that Julia does not expect me to get buddy-buddy with her or treat her like a sister, because, frankly, I don't think I can. Not yet.
Previously
fuck it @ 08.01.05
fanciful imaginary sea voyages to come @ 07.20.05
*dies* @ 07.19.05
more ootp @ 07.17.05
harry potter: driving our children into devil worship @ 07.17.05
